I want more in the sack, she laughs my opinion off and doesn’t change. Now I’m finding myself turned off by her.

I love my wife, but that’s no longer translating to the bedroom. We were together 4 years before marriage, so things cooled down before the “I do’s.” We are coming up on our 1st anniversary, are trying for a baby, and I can’t even stay aroused. Clothes come off, she just lays there, hardly does anything to show interest in sex. To me it has become something of a chore. She thinks just getting any at all should be considered a priveledge and that “just laying there” should be enough for me.

She stopped french kissing me about 3 years ago. There’s no sexual intimacy at all. I’ve voiced that it’s important to me (the guy, yeah – weird right?). She just tells me it’s not for her, and that’s that. I should just accept it and move on. She also expects me to go down on her, which I don’t mind (even like it), but she will NEVER do the same for me. It doesn’t matter that I like it. The once in a blue moon she does do it, she complains and sighs the whole time. And it goes waaay beyond spit or swallow. It’s, “I’ll get you most of the way there, then you have to finish yourself off.”

She’s the least sexually adventurous or giving person in the sack I’ve personally ever heard of. I get jealous listening about other people’s wonderful sex lives. I’m getting worried about us now, because I almost feel like I’m going to find someone else (“cheat”) to fill the void she won’t listen to me about.

Now…baby, house…ugggh.

My husband is a huge loser

I would have never have even wanted to date much less marry my current husband. I’m educated and he’s a lowly labourer. I met him in my mid30s when i was divorced. He was also divorced with a child. His ex is a loser too. They both had no money, she’s a gambler, they both had debts. I was desperate to get married again and have children. I found out after we got married that he has low sperm count. I hate myself sometimes that i married a loser idiot. He’s so stupid that it’s hard having an interesting conversation with him. I regret the day i married this jerk. He’s such a dummy that when we argue i cry because i’m frustrated that i married such an idiot!!! I wish i could divorce him but that would be my second divorce.

My husband is self centered, immature and a drunk.

I am so angry at this point that I am going to explode with such force, that everything within a 100 mile radius of me will be destroyed as well.
My husband and I are both 25. Soon to be 26 in a week. Our birthdays are a day apart.
Why I hate my husband:
1. We are separated, and he manipulates me constantly to keep me from moving on. He is very aware that he is the love of my life and uses that fact to torture and punish me.
2. He claims that he wants to work things out but does nothing to better himself. Everything is my fault and he throws tantrums like a 2 yr old.
3. HIS MOTHER. She is insane. And he defends her every kicking screaming step of the way. She is so insane, she told me that he belongs to her, and should be in fact married to HER. Yes, his mother. Married to his mother. Nothing is ever good enough for this woman. They are all stuck up, pretentious cunts.
4. HE IS SPOILED. He is the most spoiled 26 yr old I have ever met in my life. He has everything handed to him.
5. He forces himself to be miserable. Its his “thing”. He finds reasons to be angry and to hate his life. He actually likes to be miserable. I cant explain it, but it is the strangest thing I have ever seen.
6. He never apologizes. FOR ANYTHING. He will even blatently tell me that he refuses to because I dont deserve it. Ever. for any reason. F*ck you.
7. I am pregnant, and he refuses to acknowledge his unborn son. He threw $200 at me and told me to “take care of it”. What a piece of shit.
8. I am going to be homeless while he sits in a house his parents built and paid for. Right next to theirs. He pays for NOTHING.
9. While I concentrate on fixing our family, attending therapy sessions, and working toward our future, he focuses on things like the new truck he wants, the new bike he wants and his stupid new puppy.
10. HIS FRIENDS.
11. HIS ENTIRE F*CKING EXISTENCE.
F*ck you. I hate you. You ruined my life. Go drink some f*cking bleach you deadbeat asshole.

Probably the worst person I’ve ever met

My husband is probably the worst person I’ve ever met. I’ve never cheated on him or given him any reason to believe I have. He is super controlling, jealous, insecure, and explosive. After stumbling upon an article about sociopaths and doing a lot of research, I am convinced he is a 100% sociopath. He lied to me about EVERY detail of his life when we were dating. He completely fabricated a past, was the victim or hero in every story, faked a laid back personality, and had me completely fooled. Some of his lies didn’t add up in the beginning, but when I’d ask him, he would just cover it up with more lies. Like an idiot, I rushed in and we got married within a few months. Six months into the marriage I started seeing some of the lies come to light but it was nothing too major. Now I realize he spent a lot of time fabricating a job, the details of his day at “work”, conversations with people, events of the day, and so on. Basically everything I didn’t see with my own eyes was false. You can’t call him out on a lie. He denies it at first. Then explodes and brings up anything he can about you to get the focus off him.

Four months into our marriage he turned into a complete asshole. All of a sudden, everything he loved about me was a complaint. I dressed like a whore (I don’t), I show my boobs everywhere I go (they’re D cups, hard to miss), my friends are all whores (that’s not too far off but they’re still my friends), I was a whore (I was single for 10 years, get real), blah blah blah. Every typical, minor disagreement turned into explosive fits of rage. He has broken 4 phones, 3 computers, an iPad, punched holes in doors, and so on. The verbal abuse is ridiculous. I have been called every imaginable name in the book. He’s actually really creative with the combinations of insults he can combine. Everything was a test to see how I would react. If I failed, all hell broke loose.

I’ve been cut to the bone with his words so many times and get this… he doesn’t understand why I’m not affectionate and don’t want him! He doesn’t understand how that could possibly turn me off. And when I don’t want to have sex get this… he throws a fit where I’m told what a fat whore I am. Then he turns around and tells me how sexy and beautiful I am. And all the ugly, mean things are just to hurt me in the heat of the moment. He doesn’t really mean them and all the BS flattery comments should cancel out the verbal abuse.

He tells me what a Christian he is and how well he knows the Bible, but he acts nothing like the husband God commands a husband to be. The only time he ever quotes or references the Bible is to tell me I need to be more submissive or give him the affection due him. If we go to church, he gripes and complains afterwards about only going to do his part to fix this marriage even though I won’t be a Godly wife and submit. I have translated his meaning of submission to mean doesn’t argue, doesn’t question, and always on my back.

He is a veteran and gets 120 Hydrocodone from the VA every month for a back injury. He takes them all within a week. He is so sweeeeeeet and loving when he’s high. But then he drinks and becomes volatile and violent. Then he runs out and has 3 days of irritation. And he’s a miserable dick the rest of the month until next month’s prescriptions come in. He hides his pills from me, denies he has a problem, and tells me it’s none of my business.

He has had over 10 jobs since June 2011. Three different times he has made comments about people accusing him of being on drugs, but it’s just because “he’s working his butt off and they’re not used to seeing that.” He’s lost so many jobs but it’s always someone else talking trash because they are so jealous of his work ethic. It never adds up. He can’t keep a job longer than 2 months but it has nothing to do with him or his pills.

He has a ridiculous arrest record and criminal background. He makes the stupidest decisions when it comes to legal problems. He doesn’t handle his business and when he gets in trouble he goes on a rant about how he fought for this country, everybody is against him, he has crappy attorneys, the prosecutor is an ass, and the expectations of his probation officer are just too ridiculous and he shouldn’t have to follow them. He has opinions about the law and thinks what he believes is fact. He believes the court can’t do certain things to him that it certainly can do. But he lives by his belief and arrogance that nothing will happen. When it all comes crashing down, I am supposed to drop everything, screw off jobs and bills, and jump through hoops to get him out of trouble. His legal problems have ruined our finances and interfered with several of my jobs.

I’m always told my jobs are meaningless and do nothing for our family, even though I was the only one working the first year we were together (he was ‘recovering’ from a back surgery). I am a teacher. I worked in insurance for about a year and a half after I got too embarrassed by his legal troubles and reputation and quit teaching. Before he came along, I had my own house, own new car, a four wheeler, all my bills were paid and I had extra money. He destroyed that in about 6 months. He is the only one that contributes because he can lie in a job interview and get these high paying jobs that last 2 months. We’ve been severely behind on every single bill for a year now but it’s my fault somehow. I wish it was because I was always shopping and getting pampered, but I feel guilty if I buy a $20 shirt.

He claims he has PTSD and has horrible nightmares. I don’t doubt that he does because I sleep with him and it’s hell, but sometimes it just seems like drama. I haven’t had a decent night sleep in 2 years because of his nightmares. Every time he gets violent and stupid it’s always a result of the PTSD and nightmares. We tried counseling twice and each time I got yelled at the entire way home for not being able to just suck it up and deal with it. I’m so sick of even hearing about PTSD when he refuses to do anything to treat it.

I wasn’t with him when he was in the military. I came along years later and bought everything he told me at first. Now I have a hard time believing his military stories because a) I’ve caught him lying about so much other crap it’s ridiculous, b) he can’t keep his stories straight, forgets he told me the story before, and underestimates my incredible memory, and c) some of it is so far fetched it’s just too much to take.

I have found fake emails, porn sites, and hook-up sites on his history two different times. He lied to me at first and tried deleting the emails from his phone while I was on the computer in his fake account. When he finally realized he was caught, he gave me a line about looking for his ex-wife to see what kind of deviant crap she was up to and watching porn to see what he could do to be more pleasing in the bedroom for me. Puh-lease. But whatever.

He does nothing around the house… unless he’s high on Hydros, then he’s all over the place. I feel like a housemaid. He wants a clean house. It bothers him if it’s not clean. But he doesn’t do a damn thing to help me with it on a normal day. If I ask him to do anything, I’m being a nag for bothering him on his day off. I have to throw a fit and act like a fool to get my point across and get him to help me out.

At home he just sits around and plays World of Warcraft. I can’t have a Facebook or any other social profile, I can’t have friends, I can’t post crap like this, but he can spend upwards of 12 hours a day talking and chatting to people in his fantasy world.

He’s an ass to my dogs.

I’m sick of being married to him. I hate the lies, the abuse, the double-standards, the control, and him. We’ve tried so many times to fix our marriage, but you can’t fix a psycho with a pill problem. I am disappointed that my marriage has turned into this. I made a lot of stupid mistakes with men before I got married and really hoped I would be able to live a Godly marriage and truly make it work. But all I want now is a divorce. I am sick of the sociopath I live with.

Husband not having sex with me!!!

We have been married for four years and have two lovely kids born 2011 Jan and 2013 Jan. My sex life however is far from lovely.
Right from the onset, my husband who is 40 (i am 36) would always give me excuses as to why he would not have sex with me. The excuses range from having a headache, to being stressed at work, to not being in the mood etc.

On our honeymoon in 2009, it was a struggle to have passionate sex with him as he just wasn’t into it.
After our first child, he stayed away from me for nine months and I gave up going to ask him for sex after numerous refusals. Now we have had our second child and it has been 7 months (made love for the first time this year last week though).

I really like my love, romance and intimacy but this dude ain’t giving me none of that and I cannot figure out why. Our last conversation this week, he revealed to me his two MAIN fears – 1) Why must everything with me lead to sex??
2) He is afraid he doesn’t satisfy me in bed (I HAVE NEVER COMPLAINED)

This new revelation has me at my wits end because I dont really know what to do again. Any help will do. I really DO NOT want to go outside to look for satisfaction:-(

Husband playing husband with his Ex Wife

I’m getting really annoyed with my husband playing husband with his ex-wife. She calls him asking for him to take her to the store every week. He says it’s for his daughters that they have together, but that doesn’t make sense. She lives just a couple of block from 2 different grocery stores. I’ve seen shopping carts on craigslist for $20, so it just doesn’t make any sense why he should have to take her. I would understand if he was taking his daughters, or if it was an emergency and she needed to go to the Dr. But she has even had him take her to her Dr. Apt. She had some kind of testing done (not that there’s anything wrong with her just preventative testing). She was put under, so when we went to go pick her up he told me that he might have to hold her up. Which really upset me. If I put him in the same situation with my ex husband he would have definitely had a problem with that! I’m just really getting frustrated. When I try to talk with him about it, he gets really REALLY defensive about his ex wife, which also really bothers me. I’m not sure if he just feels he needs to do her favors because he feels guilty, or worse if he still has feelings for her. If that’s so I wish he would just do me the favor and tell me that so I can stop wasting my life with someone that’s not putting me first.

My husband is horrible but thinks he is wonderful

My husband is the worst. He is not affectionate, he thinks I am disrespectful to him, when I work he takes 100% of the money. He doesn’t have sex with me, for years now. He is in a permanent bad mood. He gets mad at me for something he thinks I said that I didn’t even think. Whenever he tells me what I said he uses a horrible voice and face gestures. Plus he clogs the toilet in my bath room and doesn’t tell me so when I go in there I have a surprise waiting for me. Ick. So over him. The worst part is he thinks he is a really great husband.

My husband talks bad about me behind my back

We went to counseling and he swore I was the best wife. I wanted us to work on our communication problems and strengthen our marriage, only to be lied to in my face and talked about like a dog behind my back. With the counselor and in conversation with me, he said I was the best wife and there was nothing I needed to change. Then, he goes to facebook and maligns me to his buddy’s wife. Then, he had the gall to lie even after he left the page open and I found the conversation and printed it out. This woman said all types of foul things about me, and he never once defended me. Keep in mind, this is all after he claimed (with hugs and kisses no less) that I was the “best wife ever” and went on about how wonderful and helpful I was in the counseling sessions to the counselor. Then, this. This woman said: “I wish I could set her straight, lol” I wonder about what? That part was not mentioned. She went on to say a lot more, including: “I don’t get it, if she is so damn miserable, why doesn’t she just leave? Nothing you do is good enough for her, I don’t understand. You do everything and she is so ungrateful and ugly to you.”

LOL, is this bitch for real? I don’t even KNOW this bitch! My wuss husband is so much of a punk that he would not even stand up for me, and even tried to LIE to me about this conversation until I busted out the print out and threw it in his flipping face. Who is she to speak of me this way? I wonder what the entire conversation was all about. Naturally, I’ll never get that from him. I want to PUKE thinking of how I trusted this man, shared my life and body with this man, and how much more is he keeping from me? Why is this my life?

And can you believe this? He won’t let me confront her, because keeping this buddy of his that has a connection for a job that he is interested in, is more important than his wife’s honor. Unbelievable. This is not the first time he has stayed friends with people who disrespect me, but I suppose I thought that he would change. Ha ha, jokes on me.

Now after devoting my life to him and our two kids and ending my military career so he could focus better on his, I’m facing the prospect of having to start my life over at 33 years old. How can I stay with this man? This is too much. Just the fact that he was going to try to lie until I busted out the proof and he was then left speechless and backpedaling says so much. God, I hate him so much. I mean real, true hate. I don’t think I have ever truly hated anyone until now. He has the honor of being the first human being I have ever hated.

I am so hurt right now and I know I need to get a divorce but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone

I am in so much pain. My marriage has been over for years really but my husband plays these psychological games. He plays with my emotions because he knows he can. He doesn’t love me and he knows it and I know it, but he’ll swear up and down he loves me. For whatever reason he doesn’t want to end our marriage even though he knows he doesn’t really give a damn about me one way or another. He gets sex and even though it doesn’t really make any sense to me i’m starting to think the sex is the reason he wants to keep staying married to me even though he doesn’t have any interest in me except for that. I never wanted to believe it was possible that a man would stay married just so he could keep a woman around for sex but I realize that’s the only reason my husband is still here.

SO I guess when he stops wanting to have sex with me it won’t take anything for him to leave. For now he still wants me so he plays me for the fool that I am. You see, I know in my heart that my husband doesn’t love me; but I still let myself believe him anyway because it hurts so much to think this man really doesn’t love me. I don’t want to believe what I know is the truth.

So I let him fool me and I take him at his word even though his actions show me as plain as daylight that he doesn’t care. It hurts so much but I can’t even cry anymore. I want to cry but I can’t. I can’t cry out loud anyway; but I’m crying inside. I’m hurting so bad. I wish I could just get up and leave. I wish I wasn’t afraid that I’m so messed up because of everything my husband has put me through, and I’m not all that young anymore. I’m still young enough and I’m still attractive enough to get looks when I go out, but I’m a complete mess emotionally and nobody would want to be with me I know it. I have too much baggage.

So I feel like I won’t ever know a man’s touch again if I get divorced. I mean, I could probably find people to have occasional sex with but that was never my style and I’m not interested in that life. I would want a real relationship and I don’t think that’s possible for me. I think if I get divorced I’ll be on my own for the rest of my life. I’ll never have another boyfriend much less for another husband. And I don’t know if I have the strength to spend the rest of my life alone.

I’m hurt and I’m scared and I wish I had someone I could crawl into their arms and they could hold me. That’s what my husband is supposed to be for but he never does that. He never just holds me. He never really comforts me. He only ever just causes me pain and goes off about his business to do his thing while I’m home in pain.

My husband and I don’t do anything together should it bother me?

My husband is never around. He never has any time for me. I don’t know if this is normal or what. All I ever see of couples on the Internet are pictures of them doing stuff together. My husband and I never do anything together. If people ever see me they see me with my adult son and probably think he and I are a couple because it’s not really obvious to most people that I’m his mother.

Just now I got real angry with my husband and broke a chair slamming it into the floor and I want to know if I am the one who is wrong here. Here’s the story. My husband is always gone like I said. He will leave at 8AM to go to work for 11AM and make every excuse in the world for why he has to leave so early.

My husband fills my head with his BS about how he loves me every day. I have been trying to get out of this relationship for years and he won’t let me. Every time I talk about divorce and how I don’t think this marriage can work because we don’t really have a relationship and it’s pointless for us to keep doing this, he talks his talk about how we’re never splitting up and tries to act like he wants this marriage when he knows perfectly well he doesn’t truly. I don’t usually go around breaking chairs. What am I going to throw the chairs for? He’s never around and this has always been the case from the start of our marriage.

But what I was trying to discuss was what happened this morning. I was talking to him while I was sitting at the kitchen counter and he was doing his last minute stuff before he would leave the house. I was asking him when his transit card expires and if I should put the expense to renew it into the computations for the next set of bills. I wasn’t really finished talking before he finished putting his coffee in his coffee cup and turned to me and said “See you later.”

I knew he had to get to work for 11AM and it was just eight o’clock, so he could spare 5 minutes and didn’t really need to rush out while I was still talking. So I asked him, “Don’t you start working at eleven today?”

Immediately he got upset. It’s always like that. I ask simply, “Don’t you start working at eleven today?” and he gets pissed off and starts raising his voice telling me, “I have things to do you know. I have to go and water my garden and this guy that’s gone out of town asked me to water his garden for him so I have to go and water his garden.”

And I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Going to water his garden is more important than sparing me an extra 5 minutes so I can finish what I’m saying. That’s bad enough to know. That hurts by itself; but to hear him add about some other random person’s garden that he’s giving priority to go and water over sparing me 5 minutes of his time, that was just devastating.

So I pointed that out. I simply said, “You can’t spare me 5 minutes of your time but you can go and water some man’s garden.” And I picked up the chair and slammed it into the floor while telling him “F**k You at an elevated volume. He of course simply walked on out the door without so much as a backward glance.

Later he will come home and smile and call me honey and sweetheart and try to talk to me as if none of this happened. He will not do this because he loves me. It’s just his routine. It will take him about 30 seconds to do it then he will go upstairs to the bedroom feeling satisfied that he’s the loving one in this relationship. I will not see or hear from him except when he’s coming downstairs to go to the kitchen. He will stop and kiss the back of my neck and reach in front of me to squeeze my breasts and nipples. If I am wearing something that exposes my legs he wills stroke them and call me “Legs”. He will make references to us f**king tonight. That’s if I’m sitting here at the PC when he comes down. If I’m in the kitchen, maybe washing the dishes, he will slap my butt and talk about how good it looks. He will still reach around me and squeeze my breasts and pinch my nipples and talk about wanting to do it later. That’s the only time he  ever really talks to me is to talk about sex or to talk about this person or that person he knows from work or where ever telling him this thing or that thing and doing this thing or that thing. If I should start talking all of a sudden he has to go. And I seldom talk. That’s been a fact of my entire life and what I am known for, how seldom I speak so this is no nagging wife issue. I don’t have a husband at home to nag. This is not a man you can nag. He’s a mean man. He doesn’t just sit around and let you nag him. So there’s no nagging. There’s just a complete lack of interest in hearing my voice. I have told him that the moment I start to speak he goes on automatic shut down. He wants nothing to do with me except to use my body for sex because it’s apparently a nice f**k regardless if I’m participating in the activity or not. There’s all the tightness and heat and moisture that make for a sweet ride. He’s always thanking me and telling me how much he enjoyed it and most of the time I’m not participating because I generally feel like sh*t in this marriage and I never want him to touch me. So I’m more like a “real doll” in this marriage. He has one use of me and one use only and once I stop working — once the battery that keeps things tight and heated and moist dies, he’ll be gone.

Anyway, I don’t really expect to get understanding and that’s not what I seek. I know what I know. I’ve suffered in this relationship for the better part of my adult life. I was just a stupid girl when I got involved with this older man. I can’t get my life back sadly.

I guess I started this saying we don’t do anything together and asking if it should bother me. It kind of bothers me yet things are where I despise this man and I don’t really want to do anything with him anyway. I’d be so embarrassed to be seen with him. I wouldn’t know who of the people he associates with he told what, what women he flirts with every day who would see me with him and laugh at me knowing what a fool I am walking around proudly beside my husband who really has no use for me and doesn’t value me and flirts with them every day; or what male friend he makes jokes about the bitch wife with.

I feel like I’m being played with by a sick and twisted monster; but because his way of abusing is less obvious than when I explode and react by slamming and breaking a chair, I look like the monster and he looks like the victim. If it was only possible to undo our mistakes. If it was only possible to rewind life to a certain point and live it over. Oh how I would love to be able to undo ever meeting this individual.

Married by Murali Krishnan – a short film with the message that not all married men cheat?

I’ve just finished watching this short film on youtube. I have to admit I rolled my eyes at the end. It’s a cute little film. I didn’t roll my eyes at the film, I just rolled my eyes at the message; but I think that’s more a reflection on me and has more to do with me and my experience with marriage. The fact is, not all guys are dying for an opportunity to cheat. There are going to be guys who read this and roll their eyes and say, “yeah right”. If you believe what you read on message boards and in comments sections on blogs and other websites related to marriage and relationships, all married men are bored with their wives and would welcome an opportunity to sleep with another woman, provided of course the other woman is hot.
But the message in this film is that there are husbands who are loyal to their wives even when there is opportunity for them to be disloyal.
I suppose I rolled my eyes because the men I am familiar with aren’t of such noble character, including my husband. I would bet a million dollars that I do not have that my husband would never turn down an offer to have sex with a woman unless that woman is just so grossly repugnant in some physical way that he couldn’t bring himself to have sex with her. He would never turn down a woman who offered to have sex with him solely on the basis that he’s married.
While I was watching this short film I experienced a range of emotions. In the beginning while she was sitting at the table waiting for him to come home I was reminded of some of my own experiences in my marriage. I felt saddened knowing many wives go through this every night–feeling alone and lonely while waiting for their husbands to come home from where-ever he’s gone to hang out.
When her husband came home drunk and she was trying to care for him I thought to myself, “oh so this is what you do when you love someone”. When she took off his shoes it seemed like such a loving act, one I could not see myself performing if I had found myself in a similar situation. After the husband told her to take her hands off him and called her a bitch I thought that this is what you get for loving selflessly. You get crapped on. You get mistreated; but then they cut to the next morning and she’s done all these kind things anyway. Again I thought, I guess this is love but seriously where does self respect come into the equation. Does this man deserve this woman’s love?
Then she comes home from the store and he asks her what happened last night and she sits him down and she tells him; and even he’s confused as to why she would still treat him so well; but then she tells him what he said after he had called her a bitch and told her to take her hands off him. It turned out in his drunken state of mind he hadn’t realized it was his wife he was with. He thought he was someplace else with someone else and it was the someone else that he was telling to take her hands off him because he was a married man.
So suddenly he becomes noble and his wife’s loving actions are justified. She didn’t make his favorite breakfast and iron his clothes and clean his house to the point of things sparkling because she is a woman who lacks a backbone and will take any treatment her husband metes out and keep loving him whether he deserves her love or not. She did all those things because she realized she had a loyal husband who would not cheat on her — a man deserving of the kingly treatment he receives.
I’m all for spreading positive messages about love and marriage. The fact of the matter is, not all married men cheat. Not all husbands hate their wives. Not all men think that women are all c-words that men would never have married if not for the thing between their legs as expressed by this gentleman . Some men do love and respect their wives and take their vows seriously. I suppose those are the men who are getting the kingly treatment from the wives on the receiving end of their love, respect and loyalty. The rest of us will continue to remain stuck in our unbearable circumstances vying every day to see who can hate each other the most and make each other feel the most like sh*t.